This should get you thinking!!

I was at a conference in PA lately and at lunch we were discussing travel and specifically planes. One guy said he got on a plane, it pulled away from the ramp, started down the runway and the pilot shut down the engines. They taxied back to the ramp, the front door opened and after an hour of waiting they took off again. He asked the flight attendant what happened. She replied that the pilot heard a noise in the engine so they went back and got a new pilot.

Many years ago, in my time as a Customs Officer at Melbourne Airport (yes downunder in Australia, not Florida) a JAT (Yugoslavian Airlines) pilot was inspecting his plane with the ground engineer before take-off. Normally, this means just making sure that the wings and engines were in the right places in the right numbers. This day, however, the ground engineer noticed that there was a fuel leak from a wing tank. He brought this to the notice of the pilot who nonchalantly dismissed the problem with the comment "No worries. We get to 30,000 feet, she freeze up, no problem."

"Atlanta tower, United 123 is with you."
"United 123, you are cleared to land on 27 right."
"Atlanta tower, Delta 765."
"Delta 765, you are cleared to land on 9 left."
After a pause to digest this, we hear....
"Uh... Atlanta, I think you have that United flight and us coming into the same runway in opposite directions?"
Another pause..
"Y'all be careful, now, y' hear?"